"But They Know Me!" How Close Ties Harm Sales Relationships

The brush-off all salespeople have experienced: “No thanks. We’re completely satisfied with our current provider.” Years ago, a sales trainer recommended this follow-on question: “Would you like to know if your loyalty is costing you anything?”

Logical. On target. Helpful, even. And I couldn’t properly deliver that question to save my life! Many of the answers I received can’t be repeated. I’m sure my prospects heard “would you like to know why you’re an idiot?”—but that’s another story, for another day.

Loyalty numbs the senses in a pleasing way. From The Brush Off, we know people selectively shun facts and information. There are real costs and opportunity costs, but that doesn’t stop customers from craving the loyalty chemistry. Similarly, vendors crave loyal customers, but the costs are less apparent.

My neighbor, who runs a media organization, recently cited a compelling example. He reviewed a sales proposal during a pre-call meeting with one of his salespeople. My neighbor shared that parts of the proposal were poorly written, and he was concerned how that would reflect on his organization. The salesperson’s response? “But they know me!” Does his client sound like one that’s ripe for competitive picking? It happens every day.

Salespeople and prospects work within a web of social-media enabled connections. Outside of sales engagements, we overlap in FaceBook, LinkedIn, alumni groups, kids’ sports, civic organizations, board affiliations, and more. While this social glue tightens sales relationships, an unwanted byproduct can stain the sales process: sloppiness.

When it comes to selling to friends, salespeople are prone to delivering a less-than-best effort. And I'm not just throwing mud. I've done it too. “Eeks. I’ve got to take care of another problem right now. Alex’s proposal can wait one more day. He’ll understand.” “The 12:00 lunch meeting with Cathy? I’ll get there at 12:45. Hey—I was never on time for anything in college, either.” The casualness continues. Dave Kurlan highlighted why it’s important not to appear disheveled for a face-to-face sales call, explaining “nobody will ever refuse to buy from you because you are dressed well.” Amazing that he had to point that out.

Earlier this year, over 100 sales professionals responded to the 2010 Sales Risk Survey, conducted in partnership with CustomerThink. Forty-three percent agreed with the statement, "Unexpected situations often cause us to lose sales opportunities." Another blindside tackle on the sales gridiron. Sideline staff, coaches, and trainers rush out to assess the damage and to offer aid.

One question to ask in the post-decision review: how tight were our connections? The strongest ties are also the most vulnerable.